Hair Care: A Path to Discovering Beauty Within
One of the biggest challenges in becoming an adoptive mom, has been learning to properly care for my daughter's beautiful hair.
My daughter Bliss is African American, and she has gorgeous dark, curly, thick hair. I have definitely been on a journey as her mom in finding what products, what styles and what stylists work best for her. It is not something I thought about at all prior to her adoption. Hair styling is not a skill I possess, and I have fallen down time and time again.Thus far, it has been one of the biggest challenges I've experienced as a mom.
Hair, I believe, in all cultures is important and for a girl or woman, a powerful symbol. In the African American culture, it is incredibly important.
My daughter's hair has strangers reaching out to talk with me and ask questions. Each reach has been from an African American woman. They care about my baby girl's hair. What products are you using? How often are you washing her hair? Does she sleep with a silk or satin pillow? I've met some wonderful people through Bliss's hair, and having someone reach out across the racial divide has become a normal occurrence. It is good, it's healthy and I've come to learn what an important goal I have in maintaining and keeping Bliss's hair in it's most beautiful form.
The greatest resource I've found on our hair journey, has been through other adoptive moms. While we were fostering to adopt, our fabulous Guardian Ad Litem, who has adopted 4 beautiful girls, recommended a salon near our home. We went, found our stylist and haven't looked back!
About every 2 weeks, we go to Bliss's stylist, Ms. Chrystal. Her salon booth is located in a predominately African American Styling Center. Chrystal unbraids, washes, conditions and re-braids Bliss's hair. We all sit together for a few hours, talk and bond. It's awesome, and I know that as Bliss grows older, her hair styling sessions will be a consistent and important time that we'll share together as mother and daughter. Bliss is also being immersed in her birth culture, and that makes me a happy mama.
Ultimately, true beauty comes from within. This truth is one that I plan to cultivate and nurture as my daughter begins to appreciate, see and value her own beauty, inside and out. Right now, one of the most important external vehicles I see in building her confidence and self-esteem, is in maintaining her lovely head of hair.
Below are a few resources to help you along your hair care journey. Enjoy, and may your path to hair care for your child be filled with discovery of not only her external beauty, but ultimately of her beautiful true self.
Chocolate Hair, Vanilla Care by Rory Mullen
I Love My Hair! by Natasha Anastasia Tarpley
Big Hair, Don't Care by Crystal Swain-Bates
Adoption Support Alliance is hosting a class on Race, Culture and Adoption on Saturday, March 11, 2017 from 1 to 3 pm. If your family is a transracial one or if you are considering a transracial adoption, we'd love for you to join us. Register here.
