Choosing An Elementary School for your Adopted Child

I remember when my twins were four years old and I began to look in earnest at different schooling options for them. I was overwhelmed. And scared! These were my babies and we were sending them off to “big-kid” school.

I toured six or seven different schools and seriously considered homeschooling. My husband and I considered public school, private school, private Christian school… there were so many choices! I know the angst that goes with the fall school tours. For all of you who are in the turmoil of school decisions, I feel your pain!

Here are some things that I learned during our school decision days:

1. There is no perfect school. And if you find the perfect school, your child may not be guaranteed a spot. You do the best you can with the information you have. We ultimately decided to try our luck at getting our children in a Spanish immersion magnet. It was one of the most desired magnet schools in Charlotte. We were lucky, our kids got in. Not everyone who applied for that magnet school got a seat. Do your best, and know that there is no perfect place for your kids, and ultimately, they’ll be okay.

2. If your child is of a different race than the majority of the other school children, you need to ask questions about how the teachers and staff will handle the racial and ethnic differences. At one particular school I toured, I asked about the Latino population at the school with our Guatemalan son in mind. The principal answered that there were ESL kids who looked like my child. She didn’t seem to grasp that my son is Latino, but he is not an ESL kid. That school wasn’t the right fit…

3. Consider what it will mean for your child if she or he is the only child of a particular race at the school. Will he feel “other”? Will she worry that she will be left out because she looks different? Do not underestimate what the school’s racial makeup will mean to him or her.

4. Ask the staff at the school about other adopted children who attend the school. It’s always nice to know that our children aren’t the only ones who are adopted.

5. Talk to the school counselor. What does he or she know about adoption? Do you feel that the counselor is someone who will support your child if adoption related issues arise?

6. Talk to parents of children who attend the school. What do they like about the school? What do they wish they could change? How do their children like the school? Are their children happy there?

Making decisions about our children’s education is daunting. But remember that you have options and if you choose a school that’s not a good fit, you can always make changes. You’ve got this!